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“If someone offers you a breath mint, take it.” Pin
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“Your contempt for me is intoxicating.” Pin
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“I should take it down a notch, no one is this awesome.” Pin
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“I was born to be bewildered.” Pin
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“I will pummel you with my charm.” Pin
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“I’m not sure where I stand so I’m just going to lie down.” Pin
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“Always be true to yourself, except on the internet obviously.” Pin
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“I can forgive but if I tell you that I have forgotten I’m lying.” Pin
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“It is very exhausting having a booty that doesn’t quit.” Pin
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“Just want nachos and peace of mind.” Pin
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“Your positivity is so annoying.” Pin
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“Profanity is a must, especially if you can be creative.” Pin
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“It’s getting harder and harder to tell the sober people from the drunk people.” Pin
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“I am working on perfecting my mediocrity.” Pin
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“I came to kick ass and eat tacos and I’m too tired to kick ass.” Pin
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“I’m not for everyone. Only the cool people.” Pin
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“My mind is sick AF. Please do not enter.” Pin
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“I’d be so hot if I just gave a little more effort.” Pin
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